This one is too funny...

How will you be suspended from LJ? by Anonymous LJ User
Username
Years on LJ
Snape	HotNot
Hours left until your suspension	35
Your crime	Mistaken identity. Your name was too similar to a porn queen BNF.
Who reported you	mcpofife
Your fate	Standing on street corners with a sign "will write Harry Potter porn for food".

Except my fate would never happen!